The Season I Found My Way Back to Myself

When I turned to November—the month of my father’s birthday—I saw a saxophonist looking back at me. My father played the saxophone, and suddenly the calendar felt like it was remembering him with me.

Today is my father’s birthday. For the first time in eight years, I realized I had reached this day without being chronically ill. I feel excited to celebrate him—and deeply relieved.

For years, I think I began grieving again around mid-October. Dad’s birthday is November 1. He passed on December 30, 2014, and I had to handle his funeral arrangements during the holiday season. Because his burial plot was in Los Angeles, I wasn’t able to hold his memorial until April 10, 2015. I can see now how that stretch of the year may have brought so much back up for me. I would often keep feeling unwell well into the new year, sometimes until spring, before I began to feel better.

Last December, while I was sick, I wrote my chapter for Voices of Care. It was difficult to write, but it also helped me face what I had been holding inside. Other contributors shared that writing their chapters had been liberating for them, too.

The book was released on April 3, 2026, just before the anniversary of my father’s memorial. Looking back, I’m struck by how those dates meet in my story. Since writing my chapter and sharing it with the world, I’ve felt lighter, freer, and more like myself again.

I can’t say that writing the chapter explains everything about my health, but making space to grieve changed something in me. Today, I’m grateful to remember my father with joy and celebrate the life he lived.

I also think about people who have cared for someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia and aren’t ready to read a book that brings those memories close again. I understand. You deserve to approach your story in your own time. If that time comes, I hope Voices of Care might offer you company, understanding, or a place to begin expressing what you’ve been carrying.

Happy birthday, Daddy. I love you, and today I’m celebrating you with a full heart. ❤️ Hugs